(Another 19th hole discussion by our regular cast of characters)
Walt: Did you check out the article from John Hawkins in Golf World last month? He points out that one of the reasons given for ESPN walking away from PGA Tour coverage during the 2007 contract negotiations was the PGA’s unwillingness to alter tee time policies so that marquee names like Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson would go off at 1 p.m. ET to maximize their TV exposure in the first two rounds. Apparently this was all about economics for the networks – early-round coverage without Tiger wasn’t worth covering, and without rounds of it on both Thursday and Friday, they would rather walk away from the early round coverage entirely.
Tucker: Well, can you blame them? I mean who’s going to tune in on a Thursday or Friday afternoon and watch Lee Janzen and Scott Verplank on the back 9? Without the big names like Tiger and Phil up there, the ratings for weekday telecasts go in the toilet faster than you after you’ve had too much 7-layer dip.
Walt: Very funny – hey, I keep hearing that Corona’s a great laxative – excuse me for field testing some of the theories I hear around this place by people that shall remain nameless.
Rick: You must’ve been hammered – I said Corona’s great for staying relaxed and I’m quite sure I was sober enough not to stutter, so this one’s on you. Staying relaxed is the last thing you want to do after making a dinner out of 7-layer dip and chicken wings – unless you brought a change of clothes.
Walt: OK, OK, back on topic – don’t even start with the Tiger and Phil stuff. Does anyone think this is about anyone other than Tiger? The PGA could put Phil, Ernie, and Vijay out at 1 pm EST every Thursday and Friday and ESPN still wouldn’t have been happy.
Tucker: Fair enough – although if Phil wore those long spikes people might want to watch. Sadly Ernie would play peacemaker – if I were in that threesome with Phil and Vijay I’d be looking for spike marks just to get something started. Vijay whacking Phil with that little 9-wood of his for leaving spike marks on the green with that annoying pre-shot routine, now that’s must-see TV and serious SportsCenter fodder.
Walt: First, I don’t want to hear Phil, Vijay, threesome and whacking in the same sentence again or I’m going to feel like I’ve had too much 7-layer dip and may need to hurl. Now you want to throw Phil’s wife into the threesome, we’ve got something to talk about. Or Tiger’s wife – hey, now there’s an angle we can work with – but I digress. Second, the point that needs to be made is that the PGA did the right thing here, and in fact had Tiger’s back. The PGA policies are in place to give all the players a level playing field for the first two days of a tournament before the cut is made, not to mention level putting greens without spike marks for at least one of the days. To do this, they alternate starting times so that over the first two days most players will have one morning and one afternoon tee times. Morning tee times may not be great for TV coverage, but they are easier to score on since the greens have fewer spike marks and haven’t yet dried out. At most tournaments, the morning scoring average is lower than the afternoon scoring average. If Tiger played in the afternoon on both Thursday and Friday for the most part he would have a higher score after the cut was made and would tee off earlier on Saturday and potentially Sunday unless he had a great early round on Saturday.
Tucker: So that’s perfect – he gets two afternoon rounds on Thursday and Friday and two morning rounds on the weekend, just like everyone else. Walt: Uh, maybe, but let’s not forget that if his scores higher after Friday he may not make it until the weekend.Tucker: Like ESPN cares – at the tournaments Tiger’s playing in on ESPN, they don’t have the weekend coverage. They could care less about him making the cut as long as he doesn’t miss either of their telecasts. Plus, all the more drama for them if he’s close to the cut line during Friday’s telecast. It’s all about viewer eyeballs and Tiger chasing the cut is the best way to get folks to watch.
Walt: So we throw out decades of level playing field so that ESPN can get a few more Friday ratings points? All the history around two days of fair treatment for everyone before they make the cut is just ignored? The system used for the greats of golf to this point – Nickluas, Watson, Norman, Faldo, Price – is suddenly no longer valid for use by the PGA during it’s weekly tournaments?
Tucker: I’m sorry, was there a question? Your lips were moving, but no sound was coming out – unless you count that rhetorical question set you just posed. Exactly right, it’s all about audience – history and level playing field come in a very distant second.
Walt: For all we know, this wasn’t even the most obnoxious ask by ESPN, this is just the one Hawkins found most recently. There are a few more creative things they could try to monetize the broadcasts.
Rick: More creative than changing tee time policies – oh, please, do tell.
Walt: How about pay-per-view coverage of Tiger? Whenever Tiger is on course, you see the round in it’s entirety. We’ll put a camera on Tiger the entire time. You should be able to see Tiger’s snack choices – and see him eating them.
Tucker: What about rest room breaks, and the occasional vulgarity?
Walt: No problem, for nature breaks they can just film the port-a-potty while it’s in use. And the occasional vulgarity just adds street cred to the program. People loved the F-bomb on 18 at
Tucker: I would definitely pay the $2.99 – my only question is how are you going to avoid coverage of Tiger’s playing partners? If I’m paying $2.99 I don’t want to see Rocco Mediate’s pre-shot routine – who does, like a sadistic stretching exercise – or Adam Scott plumb-bobbing a putting read.
Walt: No problem, the classic up-sell helps with this one. For an extra $5 we’ll show you Tiger standing instead of having to watch his playing partners hit. For an additional $5 w’ll show you Tiger even if his playing partner is beating him by 5 strokes. Finally for an extra $5 we’ll actually break away from Tiger to show you the last 3 holes of his partner’s round, but only if he’s either challenging a course record or on pace for a 59.
Tucker: Interesting – always good to provide the “want fries with that” upsell. Anything else?
Walt: Absolutely, how about the Steve Williams pay-per-view camera – why just watch Tiger when you can watch Steve too? The world’s most famous caddy – hey, let’s be honest, Steve is actually better known than almost anyone else with a PGA card, including Sergio, Ernie, and Retief. Some people used to think that Retief and Steve are the same person, both with that mild-mannered low-key attitude perfect for winning majors on tough courses. Of course Steve fixed all that by starting a camera-throwing event in anticipation of the 2012 Olympics (hey, Tiger will be there for golf – I might as well do something with my off days – what’s that, golf’s not going to be an event? Ah, well, I’ll stop practicing then). We figure the Steve piece is worth $1.99 pay-per-view, with a $5 upsell if you want your camera kicked by Steve during a future PGA Tour event.
Tucker: Interesting, good call on the lower price point – I don’t know how many folks are shelling out $2 for a day pass to hang with Stevie. What else ya got?
Walt: Glad you asked – how about Virtual Tiger? On those increasingly pesky situations where Tiger misses the cut or turns up sick before the weekend, you’ll be able to watch Tiger play the weekend virtually – we’ll create a threesome with one of the TV groups based on Tiger’s past performances. If he’s averaged 5th place at the tournament, we’ll put him in the 3rd-to-last group.
Rick: Now of course that could be tough – what if virtual Tiger catches fire and starts making everything and wins the tournament when he’s actually not even playing?
Walt: Fear not, we’ve got a solve for that too – for an extra $5 you can actually see the live player leaderboard after the event is concluded. Note that this is an optional upsell – you Tiger fans may choose to keep this money and not buy the upsell – that way it’ll be a complete surprise to you when you watch SportsCenter later and someone else wins.
Rick: Can this work at tournaments where Tiger’s not actually playing?
Walt: Sure, he’s probably played it previously, like the Greater Milwaukee Open which he played when he needed tournaments to get his PGA Tour card in 1996. Even if he hasn’t, we can just take shots by previous winners and extrapolate them to Tiger – for example, we can take the best drive on each hole, the best approach, and the best putt, and see how Tiger would do if he played up to his potential. You could really see some scoring records broken virtually with this feature this year – of course we’re hearing from the courses that they won’t honor them as course records – that’s their choice if they want to be that short-sighted!
Rick: So Virtual Tiger can absolutely help create Tiger coverage on weekends. Anything else?
Walt: Yes, glad you asked, and this is my final play for now and one I’m most excited about. This one would be a Virtual Foursome – yes, if you can inject Tiger into the mix as a virtual third member of a twosome, why not throw anyone into the mix? We’re toying with the idea of throwing an eBay listing up where you could bid on the right to become a member of Tiger’s weekend foursome. Worried you won’t be able to hang with Tiger – no problem, with Virtual foursome you can just take a mulligan … or two or three … and hit until you’re happy.
Even better, it won’t be like Tiger has to pay you any attention at all – he’ll have an avatar that heckles you after bad shots and avatar bully – er, bodyguards that take your wallet – er, your avatar’s wallet after you press when you fall 3 down with 2 to play. It’ll be just like playing with Tiger at a pro-am – he won’t talk to you at all and you won’t care because you can tell your buddies you got to play a round with Tiger. Even better, proceeds will go to a local charity of Tiger’s choice, since he knows better than you which charities are really worthy.
Tucker: How will this work?
Walt: This is like the machines you see at resorts where you hit a golf ball into a screen and it measures spin and calculates distance.
Tucker: Aren’t there some issues with the accuracy on those machines – I once hit a 7-iron 231 yards into the wind according to the one I was playing.
Walt: No, not the new ones, you probably misread the wind direction and it was downhill – either that or you have been working out and need to get off the ‘roids.
Tucker: Watch out – ‘roids rage could erupt at any time!
Walt: I’ll be careful. So those are probably some of the things that ESPN wanted to head towards that would help them monetize Tiger events more fully. There’s no question that the Virtual events are in that gray area of acceptable telecast modifications. When you look at this potential list, you start to see where ESPN was going and why it made sense for the PGA tour to go with TV contracts for NBC, CBS, and The Golf Channel. Prime time pairings were just the beginning, but not any more …
Comments